Hey, I'm Shante'. (shawn-tay)

Welcome to my playground. 

2016 is the year of zero fucks. 

And I don't give a fuck what you think. 

You shouldn't give a fuck what anyone thinks about how you're choosing to live your life either. That's the energy I hope to instill in this space. 

My blog and brand is in the midst of a full scale redesign at the moment. To act as an About Me at the moment is an interview I did for the blog, HiyaTootsie, in their Badass Broads feature. This was back in August before the birth of my son and much as changed since then but a lot is still the same. I'll be updating this soon as I find time around feeding my baby from my boobs and sleep. Enjoy and be sure to head over and check out Heather, she's a force to be known.  

Name: Shante' Morgan Anderson

Birthdate: Novemember 12th, 1987   Scorpios unite! 

Location: Idaho Falls, ID 

Career: Transformation Coach&Business Mentor/Yoga Teacher/Writer

Website: theConfashional.com

Favorite quote or lyric: Lyric: There is Beauty in the Breakdown

Quote: "Things we lose have a way of coming back to us in the end; if not always in the way we expect." Luna Lovegood       

1: Make us fangirl. Who are you, what are you about, and what dream(s) are you chasing down? 

Oh hey...I'm Shante'. Married to my twin flame, Nic. Mama to 9 year old pitbull, Thena, and our first human, a baby boy nicknamed TinyDino due 9/10/16. We recently moved back to our hometown in Southeast Idaho after living out of suitcases full time for the last year and half. 

The thing I am most adamantly about is unrelenting self love- this journey of deciding who you want to be and compassionately pulling yourself through the process. First and foremost, I’m a wife. I'm hyper independent and am very good at both being by myself and living life on my own terms. My relationship with my husband forces the most personal growth and it's where I feel the most myself. While I’m sure my opinion on that is about to change with impending motherhood, it’s still the relationship I am committed to holding as the highest priority because it’s through that space my son is going to learn what love, healthy relationships and worthiness looks like. 

As for what dream I’m chasing down…I’ve honestly cried about answering these questions more than a few times. I’m currently 37 weeks pregnant so hormones are highly to blame but I have no idea what my life is going to look or feel like in a month just that it will change entirely. This is such an intense transitional space it's hard to feel solid in anything. When I started this journey I never expected to be at what I considered the ‘ultimate goal’ so quickly. Part of me is just marinating in this space of contentment before life is tossed into a blender with a new baby and it’s overwhelming to reflect because I feel like there can't possibly be more than this. #crazypregnantlady 

Big picture- we want a Netflix series directed by Jenji Kohan telling our clusterf*ck love story; its the kind of narrative that changes lives. I wrote a book last year about my own journey to self love but have yet to do any editing to make it into something sellable and tangible; one day it will be a New York Times Best Seller. I’ve been a Wellness Coach for nearly three years, pursuing it full time for over two, and currently, making significant changes there is my main focus. I’m working to integrate my work as a Yoga Teacher more fully into my services and feel called to share it in a really profound way. Each day I wake up excited share my story and show people what’s possible when they choose to live couragously. I offer a road map of support and accountability for others on the journey of self love through online challenges I host and one-on-one Coaching. The thing that keeps me awake at night is getting to mentor others is discovering what their passionate about and cultivating that into a sustainable career so they can share it with the world. I’m here to help other people to share their own stories and flood the world with more vulnerability. I believe is we can all just feel worthy and like we matter, real compassion is possible then we’ll find some peace on the planet. Once the baby gets here I am committing the first year of his life to completing the Course In Miracles and beginning the journey to expanding myself to a teacher in the Course. 

This ‘assignment’ was actually a turning point for that since my goal as a Coach was always to reach a point where blogging/writing was my full time career. I’m giving myself permission to place energy that direction so look out for some new stuff! 

2: Give us some background. How'd you get started on your dream chasing journey and where are you in the chase present day? 

This question is largely the reason I’ve cried so many times when trying to write this piece. One of the first things I do each day is look at TimeHop to see how far I’ve come and this weekend, three years ago was my rock bottom. I was at a music festival with my boyfriend, he’d asked me to have a baby and offered up some very convincing arguments on it being a great idea. We were deeply in love, planned on getting married and had talked long term since basically the day we met. I had a graduated with my Bachelor’s in Communication/Film Studies a few month previous, landed a corporate marketing job with great starting salary, benefits, the whole package…on paper I had every reason to say yes but just couldn’t. I looked around and realized this life I was living wasn't anything I had really wanted. More importantly, that I had no idea what I wanted. I hated my job and felt like my soul was being suffocated. At least 3 days a week woke up hungover and our relationship was a roller coaster exactly like the alcoholic household I’d grown up in. I’d been a signed model/actress for years that motivated diet pill abuse and dangerous crash dieting; I’d quit both habits but my wrecked metabolism had me weighing over 210lbs. We were living paycheck to paycheck in a little apartment with holes in the carpet and black mold in the shower, stressed about filling both my gas tank and fridge each week. I was angry, anxious and apathetic. I hated who I saw in the mirror and was terrified about the idea of being someone's mother. 

Several times I’d been presented with this opportunity to become a Coach affiliated with TeamBeachbody and pushed it off as a gross pyramid scheme that wasn’t a ‘real job’ and I’d worked too hard on my career to sell shakes on the internet. No thanks. In June, I’d done a free clean eating group on Facebook with a friend from high school trying to figure out how in the hell to eat like a healthy person and despite ‘support groups full of inspirational women’ being as far from my kinda thing as you could get, I loved it. 

Getting back home after that weekend and realizing how much I wanted to say yes to a baby opened me up to new perspective on options out there. As many negative beliefs as I had about what being a Coach meant my friend from high school was living the kind of life I wanted…building a killer career, working at home with her 6 month old baby, making herself healthy, happy and getting to help people. I felt so hopeless and meaningless because I wasn’t doing anything that mattered; scheduling soap shipments at work, watching reality tv or getting drunk at night, rinse…repeat. I said to hell with it and decided to jump in because what I was doing obviously wasn’t working and this seemed like the furthest thing from my normal. More than anything by putting myself out there as someone for people to follow I’d be held accountable to fixing my own shit and I had to make a change. When I say I'm going to do something failure is not an option. 

My goal when I started was just to be happy at a very baseline level...have a stable home life; not repeated the high functioning alcoholic cycle I grew up in, like myself, be excited to go to work everyday and put my bills on auto pay. I had no idea where to start so just decided to focus on the weight and unhealthy lifestyle then go from there. 

On September 28th, 2013 I committed to one year doing this crazy thing, no excuses, and if it didn't 'work' then I could quit. In that year, my BF and I got engaged, moved into a new 3 bedroom house, I quit my corporate job and made up my full time salary within six months of starting my business. I lost 70lbs, quit drinking and rid my life of toxic friends. I helped someone lose 120lbs and play soccer with their kids for the first time ever. I started traveling solo and gained confidence in my vulnerability in a way I didn’t know was possible. In the process my relationship was also imploding and I woke up to realize at some point it'd spiraled into a narcissist/empath abusive relationship dynamic. The most difficult and proudest moment of my life is the day I called off my wedding. I shared a video on YouTube sharing that I’d ended it holding myself accountable to the decision because I knew otherwise I’d go back. Within only a few days, I received messages from 7 different women who called their own weddings because I’d shared my story and shown that it was okay to walk away when you knew it wasn’t right. The day after my "wedding that wasn't" was my one year anniversary of starting my journey...poetic right? 

I relate deeply to Heather’s own story here because as a coping mechanism to my pain I poured everything I had into helping people and working. Only now the people I was attracting were deeply broken, depressed and in the same dark circumstances I was. I could elaborate here but the ultimate result was burn out and compassion fatigue beyond belief. In the following year I reconnected with an ex from high school, we eloped less than 6 months after I ended the other engagement and I moved my life into a set of suitcases to travel with him full time. I took a break from working only maintaining my business a few hours a week. I wrote nonstop while adventuring uninhibitedand spent a month living in a beach house retreat to become a yoga teacher. Looking back at it now, it was everything I needed just the journey is nothing like I wanted it to be. At the time, it all just hurt and was hard. I never used my marriage or magical circumstances as an excuse not to cope but instead as motivation to work through my mess. Still to get to that place where I was always working toward…being someone I could be proud of as a mom. 

This September will be my three year anniversary of starting my business and self discovery journey. I have wanted to quit so many times but the reality is that I don't have any other option but do to this. I would be miserable anywhere else. I don't know how to have a boss anymore and nothing will every fulfill me the way being a part in someone taking accountability and control of their own happiness does. As for where I’m at now on my dream chasing journey, back in a lot of ways where I started. I have the big dream which is the magical marriage, baby on the way and living in a our dream house but there is still so much left undone. 

In March, I burned my business to the ground in order to entirely start over from the bottom up. We quit my husbands’ job to move home so that I had the stability needed in order to really focus on my career with goals for this to become our full time gig. It was a huge lifestyle change and came with major financial setbacks but we are making it work while this dream is growing. I do all this so that one day sooner than later I’ll crawl out of bed on a Wednesday morning after sleeping in to find my husband on the couch in his underwear eating cereal and singing disney songs with our kids. We’ll own the dream house we live in instead of renting and be back to traveling freely. We’ll have a nanny to handle our dishes and laundry so all our time is spent doing things we love like writing together and teaching our little ones to believe in magic.

The last month I've been working hard on a new challenge offering a way for people to get involved with the yoga lifestyle free from intimidation and overwhelm. It's all hosted virtually, with 30 minutes of yoga practice each day at home and throughout the month I'll be sharing basics on mediation, mindfulness and general happy hippie living with tools like cards, crystals and consciousness. It's an entirely new Coaching experience for me and feels more authentic than anything I've done before. I'm building my blogs to go along with it and am writing content like crazy.

3: Let us peek behind the curtain. What does a typical day look like for you? 

I am loving getting to answer this now and take a snapshot of such a fleeting moment becoming a new mother. Right now much of my life revolves around peeing 743 times a day. What time I get up depends on how well I slept and sleeping in is something I am savoring shamelessly. I lay in bed for at least an hour playing with my belly because well…I can. He’s going to be a separate human soon and I'll miss feeling like I swallowed an angry seal. I make my super food java chip Shakeology for breakfast sit outside to brain dump and blog post writing. Then I break for some chores around the house while listening to personal development before sitting down to my desk and doing a couple hours of Coaching work. I answer messages and check into my groups. Around about one most days I take a nap because growing a people is exhausting. In the afternoon is mentorship calls and running shopping to prepare for baby or head to the pool for a workout.  I take space through out it all to play with my dog, nest like a neurotic little bird on creative projects and am constantly distracted by my kicking bump. I do Facebook live video everyday and am also trying to stay committed to self shooting my fashion stuff each day. 

Some days I'm also camped out watching Netflix, calling friends all day or reading nonstop. Being pretty chill with my solitude, this time is so limited! 

The evening is all about family time. I’m currently on a mad meal prep to fill my freezer with 2 months worth of food. We watch a lot of movies/tv doing uninterrupted while we still can. Nic goes to bed around 10 but I stay up late since it’s when I’m the most creative. This is when I’m working on my blog sites, creating content or building trainings. I have a 2am cut off to be in bed and then read until I fall asleep. Sometimes I shower though admittedly, usually I don’t, I rarely put on pants and the majority of my social interaction occurs through a screen. My husband says I’m a highly introverted socialite. Now ask me this question in a month when my life is wrecked….

4: Real talk. What are you most afraid of as you work toward your dreams and what do you do to combat those fears?

Having PTSD this is the hardest for me to answer because phsyiologically, my body reactively is viserally afraid of some basic life stuff. My last panic attack was after a training call with one of my mentors where she talked about vision; it triggered connection to my abusive relationship and how the stronger in myself I’d become the more my ex had oppressed me. The literal creation of my vision resulted in being punished for my growth. I realized I was survival mode level afraid of wanting anything bigger because of it. It’s interesting because my own journey of discovery and creation is my job, I refuse to live scared. When I’m afraid of something that’s exactly the direction I go. To conquer the feeling is a lot of yoga breath work and getting present. I take my shoes off, get my feet on the ground, write, do something active and anything I can to laugh. I process with Nic and usually share about the struggle immediately to shine light on the experience. 

From a business stand point, I’m afraid I won’t have the tools or insight to help the people who seek me out. Sometimes, I don’t. I’ve had to learn that it’s not my job to fix anyone and ultimately that responsibility is on them. I can only do the best I can with what I have and trust the right people end up in the right place. 

Recently I had someone really close to me suggest I change the way I share my life on social media because ‘people were laughing at me and everyone thought I was just a big joke.’ Until that moment being unliked or judged was a big fear but having it thrown in my face in such a hurtful and aggressive way was proof that judgement is only a projection of someone else’s own insecurities. I reached out to others whom I trusted to be honest and asked for their opinion only to receive support. It didn’t make it hurt any less but I was able to view the attack through objective and compassionate perspective. 

5: Go ahead and name drop. Who are your biggest inspirations and why?

#1 is my dad. He’s an entrepenuer and I’ve had the privilege of watching him build something immense out of absolutely nothing. Like most of my generation, I was told ‘you can be anything if you work hard enough’ but I was lucky enough for someone to actually live it. I remember sitting in our single wide trailer and him telling me how one day he was going to build a hotel. At the time he worked as a Fireman full time while putting decks on houses in his off hours. Last week was the groundbreaking for his new development that includes three hotels. The day previous was a luncheon for Building Hope Today, a nonprofit my parents founded to help those affected by childhood sexual abuse through policy change and awareness. The hotel is pretty damn cool but it’s watching him stand up to tell him own story overcomingabuse and impossible odds that makes me proud of my inheireted warrior spirit. 

My mom who’s stood up as the backbone of our family through more than anyone should be asked to take on and done so with grace, humility and impressive patience. Because of her I know, without a doubt, I too will be an amazing mother. 

My husband, Nic. When he came back into my life 10 years after we originally dated, it was only 3 months after I’d called off my wedding and I was a total train wreck. When I told him I couldn’t have anything to do with him because I needed to handle myself and not be distracted he responded by saying “I am not going to fix you. I am not going to even help you fix you. But I will hold your hand and I will get you water when you get thirsty.” 

He has held me crying over my ex-fiance, given me space to be alone for literally weeks at a time and carried me when my auto immune disease had me so I couldn’t walk. I am blown away by him on a daily basis. He has taught me a level of self love and awareness I didn’t know was achievable. I can’t even say he’s overcome things in his life as much as he’s accepted and integrated them into who he decided to be and everything he is. I’m inspired by his commitment to growth and comfortability with total unknown. He’s vulnerable and honest and deeply compassionate. He’s the calm center to my constantly swirling storm. 

Also…Oprah, Gabrielle Bernstein, Brene’ Brown, Shanti Zimmerman, Heather (ya you girl…), Amy Silverman and Shaun T. 

6: Let's talk goals. Where do you aim to be 5 years down the line?

In production for our Netflix series whether at the beginning stages or seasons in, time will tell. We’re a full time family and Nic gets to work along side me everyday building our creative endeavor empire. Since we’re manifesting our perfect world here, four kids total. First boy, a girl then twins to save time and get it done. Both our memoirs are in the process of publishing and our traveling nanny makes simple for our children to travel with us. DreamCatcher Dynasty, my team, is a 15 star Diamond, a leadership rank based on my sponsoring Coaches success in helping others, and each year I host them on a service/yoga retreat to visit the Homes of Hope orphanage in India. I’m publicly speaking, a teacher in the Course of Miracles and have earned my first million dollars. 

7: Give it to us straight. What's your best piece of advice to other women that you've personally followed on your own dream chasing journey?

Don’t be afraid to be considered a bitch. So often I work with women who are afraid to put their own needs first because they feel selfish; our society teaches us that being opinionated, strong willed and ambitious as a female means you’re difficult while men are rewarded for the same. Speak your mind. Stand up for yourself. Stand up for those who can’t speak up for themselves. Be loud. State what you want and go for it shamelessly. People will be uncomfortable and you will inevitably receive backlash, to me that’s signs we’re doing something right and creating the kind of change needed so our daughters can grow up in a world where they are actually equal to their brothers.