Welcome to my happy hippie misadventures of self discovery in artistry, marriage and motherhood merrily carrying the baggage of mental health and an autoimmune disease. I promise to keep things interesting and almost always look damn good while doing it. BTW my baby ruins lives and you'll hate me for my husband. 

Fuck This Detox - Day8

I knew this part was coming...the part where shit got real.  

Day8 of the Ultimate Reset and I'm ready to pull my hair out. I semi started my period today. Who knows what the fuck is going on with my PostPartum body. I want to eat everything and anything. 

I feel lonely and empty.

My insides do.

This void I usually feel with food. 

Alas, I can not for I am not a quitter. I'm a third of the way there and this has got to be my toughest week. The detox time.  

I feel angry. 

Red hot and all consuming.  

I used to live like this. I snapped easily and treated my family like shit. Relieved stress by putting on a tight dress and waiting for drinks to be purchased. It felt good then. Until it didn't anymore. Just fake flattery and replaying of a fucked up cycle. 

Did I mention I'm angry? 

My counsler said I need to tap into that more. Release it consciously because there's much being unexpressed. Well here it is. Pseudo period and Day8 Detox induced. 

I want to punch something. Instead I'm laying in bed. Breathing. My baby is sleeping. I'm tired but I hurt.  

i just want to feel better. I just want to fucking get better. 

My knees burn and my hips, I don't know how to explain.  

Ehlers Danlos can suck it.  

Ugh. I'm going to bed. That little baby isn't feeling very good and mama needs her energy.  



Day 20 - Sit Down and Write/Getting Back My Fight

Not good enough- EDS & the Ultimate Reset