I knew this part was coming...the part where shit got real.
Day8 of the Ultimate Reset and I'm ready to pull my hair out. I semi started my period today. Who knows what the fuck is going on with my PostPartum body. I want to eat everything and anything.
I feel lonely and empty.
My insides do.
This void I usually feel with food.
Alas, I can not for I am not a quitter. I'm a third of the way there and this has got to be my toughest week. The detox time.
I feel angry.
Red hot and all consuming.
I used to live like this. I snapped easily and treated my family like shit. Relieved stress by putting on a tight dress and waiting for drinks to be purchased. It felt good then. Until it didn't anymore. Just fake flattery and replaying of a fucked up cycle.
Did I mention I'm angry?
My counsler said I need to tap into that more. Release it consciously because there's much being unexpressed. Well here it is. Pseudo period and Day8 Detox induced.
I want to punch something. Instead I'm laying in bed. Breathing. My baby is sleeping. I'm tired but I hurt.
i just want to feel better. I just want to fucking get better.
My knees burn and my hips, I don't know how to explain.
Ehlers Danlos can suck it.
Ugh. I'm going to bed. That little baby isn't feeling very good and mama needs her energy.