January 2nd, 2017 - In my custom built
pallet bed cuddling with my Fathead. 1:09am
Tomorrow I get an MRI to look at my crocked spine. Initially when to Dr showed it to me and I asked "Why?" his response was I had always likely had it. I knew fully and wholely in my soul it wasn't true, it had to be new.
I'd never been more afraid in my life than when faced with the X-ray. Now I find it beautiful. My body is capable of incredible things. The human mind is of endless possibility and I'm going to show just how real belief is.
I have Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. EDS for short. This is also an acronym for erectile disfunction so internet searches can get fun.
Feel free to visit my FAQ section to learn what the hell that even means. I'm over explaining. (Ps- depending on when you're reading this I may not even have a FAQ section yet. Check out my Facebook page.)
Growing my baby is what cause the turn in my spine. A pleaded for turn of events led to yet another turning point in my life.
Rowan just woke up in the middle of the night. He's sick. Got some sneezes and snuggles and if he feels anything like me he is taking it's all like a damn champ. He's been cuddling with his dad most of the day. Its my first day back at work and I've been recovering from mommy burn out.
Rocking in his bedroom, just now at 1:23am, I missed him.
At the beginning I feel like this post was meant to go somewhere specific but I spent much of my allotted write time staring at baby hairs shadowed by a turtle night light and basking in the sound of suckling at my breast though I haven't produced milk for weeks now.
I hope to make it writing here to complete each day. Come down off the drive high and settle back into my feminine energy. I need to consciously align with my intentions tomorrow. I don't want to dive into old habit simply because I know they garner results. That's not what I want my life to look like, not like it used to.
is 'garner' even a word? I could look it up and check but suddenly I'm just too tired but more importantly, I don't give a shit. Perfectionism has absolutely no place in the world I'm thinking to create. So, there's that.
Namaste and Ahimsa.
;the Sanskrit word for discipline but also the delicious appetizer like dish.
ugh. I'm hungry now. Good night and god speed.