He's officially been 9 months on the outside; alive.
I'm not certain what life ever felt like without him anymore.
I lay in bed grateful for my space after a long day and subduing an urge to go pluck him from his crib and bring him to my side.
he picked me.
We are so much more complete as 3.
It was a simple day.
Cuddling watching a movie.
A shower where he opened his mouth to drink and then rub his eyes against my shoulder and lick me.
he was afraid of his new fish pool for the first thirty minutes it was inflated. Nic thought the bright colors were likely sensory overload. He doesn't have much of the super bright baby colored world around our house.
After feeding him ice cream sandwich while in the exaggerated open mouth of the fish he became content. Positive reinforcement.
12:53...lucky me, he woke up crying.
I got to be the one to rub his back then pull his shirtless little body from bed and hold his skin against my chest. He's so much bigger now. Before I could support his weight without leaning either way, his whole body held up with the palm of one hand, the other for peace of mind pressing him into mine.
He doesn't smell like a baby anymore.
I didn't inhale him enough when he did.
They all say it goes by so quickly but I never fully understood what they mean until it's dark and I see it all like a dream. Quickly shifting and flowing. Tiny bits and pieces of him and me, we.
There will never be enough of us.
Happy Birthday Baby Ro. You're all the very best parts of me, thank you for letting me see.