I think I’m purging. I really hope it doesn’t involve puking. Yogi sick is how it was first explained to me. When you’ve cleared and released so intently spiritually that a physical response is part of the processing.
I broke up with social media today. Which feels stupid and scary. I’ve been plugged in to this literally manifestation of global consciousness since 6th grade when MSN Chat was released. MySpace was EVERYTHING. Facebook used to be this cool place a college email address was required to join, there were instructions with orientation on using it to connect with your future dorm mates. 7 years ago I started doing marketing work on social media learning when it was brand new to do. For the last 4.5 years I’ve run my business full time virtual through the same outlets.
I did a post about taking a break, probably narcissistically fooling myself into thinking anyone gives a shit, then deleted the apps only to bring IG back claiming I needed to see who commented on my leave of absence. I deleted all the apps again after my nap. I just lit sage in the bathtub And habitually reached to do a boomerang on IG.
Needless to say, this break is a good thing.
Rowan has been gone for a week and the withdrawals from his absence are definitely hitting me. There is no way to explain the super powers motherhood brings. How much space it all takes so in a way you almost have an excuse to not deal with things.
Add in the dopamine high from notification checking and continuing patterns that are no longer healthy or serving feels easy. I don’t really have an intention to this except to get a firmer grounding in a more aligned way of living.
I want to be creating versus consuming. To have healthy boundaries with how I’m engaging versus allowing any sort of content to fly at me regardless to how I’m already feeling. I’m in a committed relationship with technology and that’s not changing but what can bring me more into present 3D reality?
Just some of my thoughts on this whole thing. Right now I’ve set the date of reconnecting to Monday which is only 5 days and its laughable it feels so extreme. You likely aren’t even going to discover this because it won’t be shared or posted so here I am writing for myself into the interweb abyss.
Feels equally freeing and meaningless to even post this.
Im going to focus on my marriage, home birth and creative process. Bring on an internal shift.